Are We Good Enough?

Focus, diligence, commitment, persistence, achievement. To be the best one can be implies there is a better you if only you worked harder. Are we putting the right parameters on success?

“The point is not that my life is one long golden summer which I am simply too self-absorbed to appreciate (although it might be, of course, and I am simply too self-absorbed to appreciate it), but that happy moments are possible, and while happy moments are possible I have no right to demand anything more for myself, given the havoc that would be wrought.”
― Nick Hornby, How to Be Good

I had forgotten how much I loved Hornby’s book! This story of a marriage disrupted by the husband’s sudden spiritual conversion speaks to our human desire to figure out what “good” is and how it can be achieved. The tension it can create between individuals on the “right” path and those just doing their best calls into question the ways in which we judge people and the tension, harm, and distrust it can create. I plan on re-reading this one.

Venkatesh Rao, the genius behind the always-erudite Ribbonfarm has an excellent 12-part series of posts on “Mediocratopia.” This passage really struck a chord in me:

“Situations and conditions that suck, and attract the label “mediocre” (as in “why is service so mediocre?”) usually aren’t mediocre at all, but designed to optimize Something Else for Someone Else; some aspect that is less visible than whatever aspect you’re responding to.

It’s usually not even particularly disguised or denied. You just have to stop to think for a second. Quite often, the “something else” is cost to owners of the assets involved. Aggressively driving cost efficiency by cutting corners in services is obviously not mediocritization, it is optimization of something other than service quality for somebody other than customers. Actual mediocritization creates slack and mediocrity along all dimensions. The point of mediocrity is slack and reserves for dealing with uncertainty, as I’ve argued elsewhere in this series several times.” From a deep dive on Ribbonfarm, Venkatesh Rao

After I read the above, my reaction was “Wow!” This makes perfect sense. No wonder there is no incentive to change frustrating phone trees, bureaucratic systems, and obtuse language. So what defines a successful system, condition, or rule set? Who benefits? Questions to consider when mired in the turmoil of anger and frustration.

How about failure? No matter what your passion is and in what arena you express it, there will be failures. How we feel about failure and how we move forward says a lot about the standards to which we hold ourselves.

Danny Elfman, composer, knows a bit about failure and public criticism.

It really feels like the more negative energy I got, the more motivated I got. So when I went from being in this really not critically respected rock band to film composing, the backlash I got from the film composing community was so intense that it was perfect. They didn’t like that I was coming from a rock band to do orchestral composition. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was exactly what I needed. Because for 10 years I was constantly driven by, “I’ll show those mother fuckers.” That was the driving force of my mindset.

Let’s be honest. We are all often in the position of playing a role—a role of the successful, a role of someone who knows what they are doing, the role of someone who does not feel like an imposter. We often don’t feel that we have achieved excellence or met some elusive standard for our area of “expertise.” Danny Elfman, again:

All artists are full of shit, too. Everybody has to remember that anytime artists are talking about their art, they’re really full of shit. They’re just riffing. I’m full of shit, you know what I mean? Anybody who talks about what they do is full of shit. And then if you’re talking about people who write about people who do that, it’s the same.

I’ve been reading A Year From Monday, lectures and writings by John Cage. When I purchased this book online, I didn’t investigate the insides close enough and discovered when it arrived in the mail that it looked like this:

Not my favorite style of reading text, but I have to admit it was a good brain exercise. And, John Cage is a genius. A man equipped with a unusual style of thinking and expressing himself; someone who was the object of much criticism and much success. From my limited reading, however, I don’t think he was thrown off course or discouraged by the naysayers. This I find inspiring. On that note, I leave you with this from the late John Cage:

You might say commitment is ultimate reality seen from the human point of view. Therefore it is our daily business to find practical ways of turning the telescope around and looking through the other end.

Thanks for reading. If you found something worthwhile, please feel free to share.